Jefferson Sessions, III, Esq., US Attorney General

Jefferson Sessions III, Esq. Alabama Senator, soldier and lawyer
Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, III, Esq.
Alabama Senator, Juris Doctor, Soldier and Lawyer

I wish to clarify two things about this office and this man.
First, I often hear the attorney general erroneously referred to in the press as “the chief law-enforcement officer of the country”. No. The attorney general is the chief attorney of the country. He is more like the senior national prosecutor and senior defense counsel of the government. The various law-enforcement agencies under him merely carry out his pronouncements. National law-enforcement agencies, like the FBI, DEA, ATF and BOP were created long after the 1870 establishment of the Justice Department. And these later agencies were thoughtlessly placed under the incapable hands of the attorney general and his executive department. The US Marshals Service, created in the days of George Washington, is a useful and honorable organization that should still be reporting directly to the president as he is, in fact, the chief marshal of the nation. But here we are.
Second, I am not as enthusiastic about President Trump’s appointment of Sessions as attorney general as I am about other appointments. It isn’t only because he is a long-time Washington insider, a racist from the Selma town with its long history of civil rights abuses or the fact that he is a typical Washington political-appointee party-compromise Senator and public-service bureaucrat. In fact, I rather support his appointment for the latter reason simply because it serves the nature of the position as he had for many years been a federal and state attorney. I don’t like Sessions because he’s trash. He’s betrayed his culture worse than others by becoming a southern parvenu in spite of rising from no family of substance. For three generations, the male line has embarrassed itself by tacking on the names Jefferson and Beauregard to add some implied luster to their unremarkable surnames. This was a common tactic of the poor whites who wanted distinction after Reconstruction. People elsewhere don’t know this and all assume he is some sort of landed gentleman. Real landed gentlemen in the south (we’d always renounced the term “aristocracy”) recycled family names of great-grandfathers or mother’s surnames rather than pilfering the names of confederate heroes. Between the Confederacy and World War II, southerners avoided federal service. But then too many ambitious young folks on the farms saw a military commission as their way to getting up the social ladder, entering a university and God knows what else? If Capt. Sessions had any pride at all he would be selling nails and flour as a respectable grocer following service as a private soldier in Vietnam. This is why he hates the blacks, by the way. They were becoming grocers and mechanics and he and his plain family were terrified of the reality that they were becoming the social equals of former slaves. So he and all of the rest of the trash kept the blacks down to show that, though they might not be of illustrious families, at least they weren’t black. I’m ashamed to say that many true southern gentlemen condescended to let this behavior occur, because we feared the radical socialist leanings of the ignorant and poor southern whites. Though the blacks were sacrificed to keep the poor whites from coming after us, we were judicious when in charge and helped them as much as we could. But now too many social climbers like Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III have made it into power and are upsetting the applecart, poisoning the well and don’t even remember why they were so intent on bullying those poor folks in the country who aren’t causing disruptions.
Notwithstanding the airs this man puts on with his toothy grin and cheap tuxedos, he wasn’t the worst choice from a practical standpoint. At least he has experience as a government lawyer. He keeps some of the Republican Senators happy as he was a concession to them and to the southern voters. And he must feel about 6 inches tall in those cabinet meetings with so many Yankee millionaires and billionaires looking down their noses at him since they all once owned him and helped get him elected to the US Senate in the first place. Now it looks like he’s getting left at the table without a chair with all this Russia business. I would not be surprised if these New Yorkers and men of business were trying to push him out just to put another one of their own in his place. I suspect he’ll be alright though. Businessmen and politicians are different creatures. Business leaders don’t like to explain themselves to anybody. They like to pronounce and instruct. Politicians like to stay out of trouble and make everybody like them. And Capt. Sessions can avoid a trap like any pole cat or ringtail.